Dear Android Linux,
One day Google decided that it is time to see the best operating system for mobile phones… and created their own distribution of Linux and named itAndroid… a Smart, Strong and a sexy name for a mobile operating system don’t you think ?. ย OK… just for a moment… have you ever thought what would it be if Chuck Norris uses Linux and decides one day to crate his own version (distribution) of Linux and name it Chux (Chuck + Linux)? Wow man… that would be so… geek. So lets face the facts of Chux OS :
Why Linux doesnโt have any viruses? Because Chuck Norris uses it!
A Linux designed by Chuck Norris would require no backups, as it would be too scared of Chuck to fail.
CPUs run faster to get away from Chuck Norris
If Chuck Norris wrote Linux, the kernel would always panic. (kernel panic is the “black screen of death” for Unix OS’s)
The most guaranteed way to make the Linux kernel panic, is to tell it Chuck Norris is mad at it.
If Chuck Norris wrote Linux it would be called Chux and you would literally need to boot it.
Actuallyโฆ. if Chuck Norris wrote Linux, you couldnโt boot it, it would boot you.
Chux doesnโt have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
Chuck Norris needs neither “Help” nor “Support”, those are for his enemies!
Chux need no antivirusโฆ viruses need anti-Chux.
Chuck Norris plays 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.
Chux does not connect to servers. Servers beg permission to connect to Chux.
Chuck Norris binary: all 1โs (no 001101111100011 just 1)
Web pages on a Chux server are handled perfectly by IE6. No one dares question why.
With Chux, โsudoโ is assumed. (sudo: Run selected commands/programsย as root/administrator)
Chux cronjobs run whenever they decide to run! (Cron is a time-basedย job/processย scheduler inย Unix-like computerย operating systems)
Regardless of size, ALL computers running Chux are Supercomputers
Chuck Norris put the โchโ in โchmodโ to remind us that he owns everything. (chmod changes the permissions of each given file for write, read, execute inย Unix-like computerย operating systems)
When Chuck Norris types โsudoโ he automatically becomes superuser for every Linux server in existence.
#! is the last thing you remember hearing after booting up Chux, because of the Round House Kick start bootloader.
Chux can divide by zero.
Chux needs no browser because it holds the entire contents of the Internet in memory at all times.
There is no server version of Chux. Chuck serves no one.
If Chuck wrote Linux, developers would not be able to write bugs, bugs would be too scared to exist on chux.
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